Throw Pillows

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I've been painting a lot of clouds lately. This small painting was inspired by big, moody clouds in the dark desert night sky. ☁️🏜 #tinyart #clouds #cloudpainting #emergingartist #acrylicpainting #artoninstagram #femaleartist
Being near the ocean always feels like a total recalibration. We sure are enjoying the warm sun on our skin and being lulled by the waves. Paco has switched from chasing jackrabbits to seagulls.
I’ve been dreaming of returning to the ocean and the warmth of the West Coast, which translated into these cloudy seascapes.  Perfectionism is something I struggle a great deal with when working. I see so many talented painters out there who create works that look like photographs, and I tell myself I’ll never be as good as them. One way I’m trying to overcome that baseless fear is by being looser with my paintings. To have fun with them, add dashes of whimsy, and leave the realism to my camera.  Once the rain stops falling in California, I hope to head that way for more inspiration and sunshine.  🌞🏖🌊
Last night I made a cup of tea, and the tag on the tea bag read, “You can always begin again.”  The message must have settled into my subconscious as I slept, because this morning I woke and decided to sand down every unfinished painting I had.  Some of the paintings had been hanging around for more than a year now. Ideas that once excited me, but due to the slow dry time of oil paints, I could never seem to finish them. I’d either move, or the weather would turn bad, or I’d just lose the idea altogether. Oil paint 101 is to have proper ventilation, and during the warm summer months that was an easy feat. Once temps dropped, I’ve found myself using acrylics or watercolors more frequently since I’m often working inside a closed up van. While sanding off layers of paint that revealed even more layers of paint I’d long forgotten, I realized how much these unfinished paintings had been weighing on me. Every time I pulled a drawer out to retrieve a new panel, I’d see these half-finished ideas collecting dust (literally) and it always made me feel guilty. Or maybe guilt isn’t the right word. They made me feel as if I’d failed somehow. Failed to bring an idea to fruition, or finish something that I’d started. Failed to create a work I was proud to share with the world.  I didn’t realize what an emotional impact these little pieces were having on me until I’d finished sanding the first one. Stripping everything down to the bare panel felt like a fresh start. Like I could exhale and let go of all the expectations I had such a tight grip on. Probably more of a therapeutic metaphor for greater parts of life, but it was a satisfying feat nonetheless. Now I’ve got all these fresh panels to play around with and see what new ideas flow out when I sit down to do the work.  How exciting to be able to begin again!
During my trip home for the holidays, I re-installed my bike rack. Not only does it carry my new bike, but also has turned into a great place to store my art table. As you can imagine, this frees up quite a bit of space inside the van, which makes for a much simpler setup when camping in town. My van didn’t come equipped with a hitch, so my dad and I installed one when I first set out. While it was great for transporting my old bike, I spent more time dragging the hitch on low dips in parking lots or sandy washes than I’d spent riding the bike (to be fair to the bike, it wasn’t made for off-roading in the first place).  While home for the holidays in 2021, we removed the bike rack and hitch, and installed air lifts on the rear tires. The lifts made a HUGE impact on the smoothness of the van’s ride, and also have come in quite handy as leveling tools when parked.  Now, the hitch and the bike rack are re-installed, and I am pleased to report that with the aid of the air lifts, I’m able to navigate through parking lots and dirt roads without dragging the hitch. It sounds like a minor thing to celebrate, but when you’re in the middle of a Forest Road with no phone signal and no one around for miles and miles and the fear of getting hung up on a small rise looms overhead, this is a huge feat. 🙌
The weather turned chilly and the sky was covered by a thick quilt of clouds, so I hunkered down inside and painted. This is what it looks like to paint inside my van. I know I’ve shown photos of my mobile art studio before, but it occurred to me I’d never included myself in any of them.  It’s a small space that limits the size of my paintings, as well as how many I can work on at a time, but I’ve always been one to love a good challenge. I also love the routine of unpacking my supplies and laying them out so everything is within easy reach – which isn’t too hard when your studio is inside a @ford Econoline van.  The trick is finding places for wet paintings to rest until they dry enough to continue working on them. My bed is the holding ground for most things and always looks as if an art supply store has exploded across it each time I work. As I mentioned in my last post, clutter is not the most conducive for me to be in a calm mental state, but I suppose even when I had full-sized studios, those tended to be far messier than the rest of my house.  Everything gets neatly tucked away when I’ve finished for the day. I can’t leave a painting out to work on throughout the night, or hang half-finished pieces up for a better vantage point or see them in different lights. I hit my head on enough things in the van as it is, so I’ve no doubt a wet painting would meet my elbow, shoulder, or face at some point.  All these inconveniences are minor, and not really inconveniences at all, when I step back and remind myself my studio travels to so many wonderful places with me. When inspiration hits, I pull my supplies out and get to work. I've been trying to do that even when inspiration isn’t there. As @steven_pressfield says, I’ve got to show up and “do the work,” prove to the Muse that I’m serious about my craft, even if I’m not exceptionally proud of what it is I’m creating sometimes. So, here’s me doing the work in my lovely, compact studio on wheels.
This is the most organized my brushes have been in months. A whirlwind trip home for the holidays and long, windblown drives along interstates left me frazzled and the van in a state of upheaval.  We're back in the desert now where I spent a full day in motionless silence before putting stuff away.  Living in such a small space requires constant tidying and ensuring there's a place for everything to tuck away neatly. I'm a bit of a clean freak (some might even say OCD), so clutter makes me feel anxious and unsettled.  Now everything is in its right place, including us out here in this beautiful, vast landscape, and I've pulled the paints out for the first time in this New Year.  Blank canvases fresh and full of endless opportunities, just like this brand new year.
To celebrate this festive season, I'd like to re-post Paco's holiday portrait from 2019. May it bring you as much joy as it brings me. 😆🐶👀
I never tire from watching the sunset ignite the sky with brilliant colors.  It ha been a chilly week, but not too cold for long walks, bike rides, or holing up in the van creating art.